I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
