I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
