After last night, I could never be a politician.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
