Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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