Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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