That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
