she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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