break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
