I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
