he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
And then he peed in my hair
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
