You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
