He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
