i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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