She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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