I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
