So drunk its hurt
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
