Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
