I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
