you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
