DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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