i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
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