I've blown a few things in my day
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
