If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
they're like a gay fantastic four
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
