I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
