i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
