KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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