yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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