im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
