I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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