come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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