she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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