I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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