sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
