I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
