i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
