Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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