Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
operation harelip BJ is a go
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
