What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
