I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
