I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I see more hoeing in ur future
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