I skipped work to stalk him.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
