So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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