She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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