Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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