areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
