apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
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