is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Enjoy the penises
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize