No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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