i permit you to call me
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
The air was thick with penises
In other news, I just burned my penis
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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