I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
