Pregnant stripper...not hot.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
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I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
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My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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