i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
