there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I miss vodka workout Fridays
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
