dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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