Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
