Can Purell be used as lube?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
