big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
