Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
